Everyone wears multiple hats throughout their lives. I hate hats. They give you hat-hair and make your head hot. Plus, different roles in one’s life makes things messy.
Daughter: I’m a pathetic daughter. I see my mother maybe twice a year…and she lives about 30 miles away.
Wife: I guess I’m average. I don’t sleep around and I generally am thoughtful. But I could always do better.
Nurse: Now, this is where I start to shine. I’ve been doing this since before I could legally drink or bar-tend, which made it funny when they put me in charge of the narcotic keys.
Comedian: Not professionally, but I feel everything has a humorous side. And I mean everything.
Friend: Worse than pathetic. See the line above. My best friend in Jr. High School once said, “You have to make a joke about everything. If I told you my grandmother was in a wheelchair, you’d probably laugh!” She’s not wrong.
Mother: I’m not…yet. We’ve spent way too much time waiting for “the time to be right”. Now that the “time is right”, my ovaries have rubbed the sleep our of their eyes, blearily looked at my uterus and said, “Not now. We’re tired and Jeopardy is on.”
IVF Patient: Don’t ask my Reproductive Endocrinologist what he thinks of me. I think he’s desperate to get me pregnant just to get me out of his practice.